Graveyard Cinema

                                          By Dark Soul
Even Lambs Have Teeth

5 Gravestones

     At first upon seeing this movie, I was not sure of the film’s title as the movie starts off with two young
women, Katie (the "Good" girl) and Sloane ( the "bad" girl) who are best friends and about to work on a
farm to make some extra money for a shopping trip to New York that they plan to take. Before making it to
the farm, the two girls stay overnight at Katie's uncle's house before embarking on their trip to the farm.
Being a FBI agent and a little paranoid, he wants the girls to check in with him every day while on the farm
with a text, but each day a new code word was to ensure that they were in fact safe and all was well. When
before getting to their final location, the girls meet two local boys in a diner who say that they will give them
a ride up to the farm. But something seems amiss when they pass the very road turn off that they were to
make sparking fear in the girls as they clasp hands in morale support.  However the driver tells them that "It’
s okay, we are just bringing you both to our mother’s for lunch before taking you to the farm. All seems
well....mother is nice and gives the girls some pie but when the room starts to spin, Sloane realizes that
they have in fact been drugged and the girls flee only to pass out before they make an escape.

     When the girls wake, they are in the woods and chained to two trailers each where they soon discover
that they are now the newest victims of a sex slave ring who kidnaps young pretty women to pimp out to
their clients.....a bunch of sick mother fuckers from the nearby town. Turns out the two boys that abducted
them are only the kidnappers as the ring is lead by.....the town’s sheriff.....and another man that they soon
meet. The trailers that they are chained to are used as make-shift brothels and a place to house the girls
between male visits. Crying and afraid, the girls are raped by the sex rings clients until even the stronger of
the two, Sloane....the fun loving, care free adventures one is broken down. Fearing something is amiss
when Katie didn't check in with the right code that they had on her cell, her cop uncle decides to go

     However the tide turns when deep out in the woods they are visited by one of the dirty men who comes
a calling alone, when the good girl Katie takes matters into her own hands and kills him and taking the
keys he had on him to release her and her BFF from their bondage. Stealing the sheriff's own car when he
comes to kill the girls after Katie's FBI uncle pays him a visit the girls are now free and make a run for it
only to see two new potential sex slave victims standing on the side of the road as they attempt to leave
town. Katie and Sloane turn and look at each other and know that this must stop here. What follows next is
now I know what the movie’s title implies....Even Lambs Have Teeth... as the girls go all Death Wish on
those involved in the sex slave ring and brutally killing them off one by one.

      Written and Directed by Terry Miles, this is a great movie with two strong girls who even though were
broken and turned into sex toys, turn the tables on those who hurt them and seek revenge. Not so much of
a "Horror Movie" because its more grounded in truth of the crazy sick world we live in, but it has a dark
tone and lots of blood and gore when the girls start their revenge killing spree. What made this movie fun
after the horror these girls go though as living sex dolls is how easy that turn themselves from victim to an almost enjoyable way. And here you are led to believe that the hero will be the uncle to
swoop in and save the girls and in truth it is the girls who save their own selves and take out the bad guys.
Great can be found right on You Tube.


5 gravestones

     If you love...just love horror movies like Night of The Living Dead, Alien or Dog Solders where people
are trapped in a one location setting where they are picked off one by one by a blood thirsty creatures,
then you will enjoy Howl. The setting here is a cross country train trip that breaks down in the middle of
nowhere and soon discover there is something in the woods that is hungry. Turns out that the train stopped
on the night of a full moon and so you know what that means.....werewolves! One by one the pack of
creatures takes out the passengers and feeds on them like a takeout order.

     Trying to make it until day light, everyone fights to keep from being the creature’s next meal as the
dead train is surrounded and attacked in an almost non-stop assault of fur and fangs. The creatures
themselves are pretty cool looking with great make-up designs making these monsters very much
werewolf and yet giving them their own very distinct look. Less hair then most werewolves and a little more
human then say the creatures in Dog Solders, but with big fangs, claws and these are more akin to the
werewolves in the movie Skin Walkers.

     With each attack, the creatures take out more and more members of the train and even manage to turn
one older woman into one after her leg is torn open on the teeth of one of the beasts. When one creature
busts into the train by the window an all-out battle takes place pitting the humans and the single werewolf in
a fight to the death. Even though by luck they kill the beast by ganging up on it and fighting back with
anything that can be used as a make-shift weapon. But however, others are still out in the woods waiting
their turn to attack and kill more people. This film was release out of the United Kingdom in October of
2015 and played the Fantasy Film Fest on the following August. If you are into werewolf movies such as I,
you will enjoy this little movie. It’s fast paced with lots of werewolf attack action and yet slows down at the
right times to give some good human drama to make for a good story.    

Pet Sematary: The Soil Is Still Stony, If Not Quite So Rich
Guest review by Ezra Stead

     I would never recommend reading a movie review without having first seen the movie in question for
yourself, but I would also never dream of spoiling the plot of a movie I review without providing a fair
warning. So if you are somehow unfamiliar with the basics of Pet Sematary (come on, you’ve had thirty
years to see the original movie, and thirty-five to read the book – what are you even doing with your life?),
consider this your warning to stop right here and rectify that.

     Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, the latest incarnation of Pet Sematary is quite good overall. It
carefully treads the line of showing reverence to the source material (both Stephen King’s novel and Mary
Lambert’s original adaptation) without being slavishly faithful. So, while fans of the original movie will enjoy
little Easter eggs like the truck driver being distracted at a crucial moment by a phone call from “Sheena,”
for example (the trucker who runs Gage over in the original is listening to The Ramones’ “Sheena Is a
Punk Rocker” at the time), they can also be surprised by the changes that have been made to the original
storyline, most of which are in the right spirit and add interesting dimensions to the original material.

     If you’ve seen even the trailer for this latest version, you know that one of the major changes filmmakers
Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer (and screenwriters Matt Greenberg and Jeff Buhler) have made is the
substitution of nine-year-old Ellie Creed (Jete Laurence) for her much younger brother Gage (Hugo and
Lucas Lavoie, who look remarkably similar to Miko Hughes when he played the role thirty years ago) as
the child who is killed in the road by that careless trucker. This is an interesting alteration because, while
we don’t get Gage saying “No fair,” and stumbling delightfully to his demise after his father puts his
reanimated ass down, Ellie’s more advanced intellect and speaking abilities make her a more formidable
adversary when she comes back from the grave.

     One example of this is the way she uses the guilt felt by her mother, Rachel (Amy Seimetz) over the
death of her older sister, Zelda (Alyssa Levine). This guilt is likewise fore fronted due to circumstances
tweaked a bit from the original material; in this version, Zelda’s death was still not actually Rachel’s fault,
but she is a bit more culpable than in previous incarnations. Louis Creed (Jason Clarke) is also more at
fault for the death of his child here, due to his failure to put the reanimated Church the cat (simultaneously
cuter and creepier than in the 1989 version) to sleep after playing God with the help of neighbor Jud
Crandall (John Lithgow, doing his best with the impossible task of replacing Fred Gwynne’s gloriously
iconic rendition). All this added guilt is wonderfully true to the spirit and themes of King’s work.

     What this latest version is lacking is a lot of the heart of the novel, much of which did make it into
Lambert’s film (adapted for the screen by King himself). The sort of surrogate father-son relationship
between Louis and Jud, for example, is largely excised in favor of a streamlined, efficient plotting that
focuses more on the scares. Likewise the strained relationship between Louis and his father-in-law is
reduced from an ugly fistfight at his son’s (in this case, daughter’s) funeral service to just a dirty look, which
weakens the family dynamics present in both this element and the Louis-Jud relationship. It’s a shame,
especially, that the always reliable Lithgow isn’t given more interesting stuff to do, but it is commendable
the way this movie seems determined to keep things relatively swift and relentless. The ending is far from
disappointing, too, reminiscent of Frank Darabont’s King adaptation The Mist in its ruthless brutality. As it
should be.
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